I’m Still Alive

20 Jan

Did anybody else get that Pearl Jam song in their head when they read the title of this post?  😉  Anyway, I’ve been off living life and eating whatever I want.  I apologize for my flightiness. :-/  I suppose you’re all curious as to the final details of my journey, so here’s a summary for ya.

Sinning sabbaticals:  This is a confession long overdue.  During my diabetes (November) diet, there were a couple of occasions in which I finally (consciously) broke all the rules.  This doesn’t really surprise me.  Cutting out specific foods was tolerable enough, but as an emotional eater, limiting portions was not something my brain could handle.    It insisted: More carbs!  More!!!!!!!!!!  We had a party on Black Friday, and a friend of ours brought all of my favorite types of starchy binge foods: hummus, crackers, & corn chips.  I had planned on being strong, but by the end of the night (during most of which I sat at the table – can you say “self sabotage”?), my resolve was gone.  I binged and felt like hell afterwards.  A just punishment.   I also forwent carb counting for a good 24 hours a week or so before that.  I suddenly understood how a person could get to the stage of losing limbs if it meant sacrificing their carbs.  Not that that is a good thing…

I had intended to write down & report all of the miscellaneous tiny sins of December, but I got super lazy by the end of the project & stopped taking notes.  Therefore, I don’t remember what I did wrong.  I do know that I didn’t have any chocolate and that is something to be proud of.  At midnight on New Year’s, I had a piece of mint fudge & a glass of champagne…& a glass of wine…& 2 shots of vodka.  Well it was a celebration, you know?! 😉

Since I failed you on the final December details, I can at least offer up a record of what I ate on January 1st!

What I ate my first day as a glutton  non-guinea pig:

Brunch:  with “maple syrup”! & coffee w/half & half


Snacking during MacGyver marathon: 

1 slice of chocolate peanut butter cup pie (896 calories! – even I’m impressed!), roasted peanuts in the shell, & some mixed nuts


Supper: 1/2 of a large greek veggie pizza ( w/ feta, capers, onion, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, black olives) from Pizza Nico’s – sorry, no picture 😦


Lessons Learned:   Living with restrictions (self-inflicted/otherwise) sucks!  However, it can be viewed as a mixed blessing.  Not being able to eat certain things meant that my brain could never be comfortably at rest towards food.  There’s no eating “whatever sounds good”.  There’s no eating on a whim.  It requires constant planning and analysis.  Meanwhile, you miss out on outings with friends & certain family traditions.  At times, I stopped plans in their tracks with my inability to find safe meal options.  On the other hand, you learn things about yourself and the people around you.  I have come to the conclusion that 98% [(not an official statistic by any means – just a best guess ;-)] of Americans are food addicts in some regard.  So many of us use food to feel safe, happy, have fun, connect, & just get through the day.  During the course of my experiment, a common response to my undertakings was “I could never do that, because I could NEVER live without ________”: bread, chocolate, alcohol, cheese, etc.  There’s more “living to eat” going on than I ever realized!  My new goal is to gain more comfort from eating to live instead, and I hope to help others do the same. 



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